I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
