Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
my god I love twenty year old dicks
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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