um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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