Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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