I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
so much tequila, so little girl.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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