I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
