im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
