Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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