We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
