Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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