whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
