my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
So squirting runs in the family.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
