Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
