You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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