Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I think I just sharted jello shots
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