problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
