I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
