when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
