I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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