i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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