the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
sarcasm needs its own font
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
