She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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