We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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