if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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