My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
