even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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