Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
