Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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