Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
