No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
