don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
