On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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