I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
