well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
