ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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