Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
