come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
