I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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