But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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