I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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