I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
