Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
