I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
