we're blogging at a bar
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
