I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
3pm strippers are depressing
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
