it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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