Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
