Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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