Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
