Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
